starting nursery – what else should I worry about!
Ok, you have decide you need to get back to work, or at least give yourself some time free of the children – fine if you can afford it and more importantly fine if you feel ok about letting your little one enter the care of another responsible adult.
But before you let go are there any health or emotional aspects which you should at least be aware of?
Most, if not all parents find it extremely difficult to let their child leave them, and the younger the child the harder this is. Don’t worry, this is a very normal expression of a human instinct, known as attachment, which has a strong supporting theoretical background. The emotions you experience letting go are as strong as the emotions your child experiences when being let go of.
But don’t let this worry you as training of child care professionals has come to stress attachment issues, including the need for relationship-building by allocation, where possible, of consistent and specific carers to each child, or group of children. Although only high-quality child care settings such as Asquith, are likely to provide this, more infants in child care receive attachment-friendly care than in the past so your own experiences of day care maybe very different form that experienced by your child.
How to reduce the anxiety associated with starting nursery – your anxiety that is!
Don’t underestimate how much of your emotion your child picks up on – so be confident when stating to talk and visit the nursery, and your child will share that confidence. Try to visit the nursery and make sure the staff get some idea of your child’s daily routine.
How can I help my child settle at Pre-School?
It's doubtful any self-respecting two or three year old will voluntarily enter playgroup or nursery, wave goodbye cheerfully and start playing.
You should leave enough time to settle your child in every morning, especially early on. Try not to appear to be in a hurry to leave, as this will encourage your child to cling to you desperately, however much they want to start work in the messy play area. Make them feel you have all the time in the world to say goodbye, but get on with it as prolonged goodbyes don't help anyone.
Don’t sneak off – always say goodbye clearly or your child’s trust in you may be affected and could lead to issues of trust later as he may worry who is going to disappear next! Experienced staff will open the door and greet your child by name, with a smile, to reduce the risk that you lose your nerve and take your child home again.
What works well is saying goodbye very firmly and cheerfully. Your comfort in this will in turn reassure your child.
Almost all children, at some point, will be upset when you leave them. Pre-Schools expect this and most encourage you to stay on or near the premises when your child first starts. If your child is upset when you leave, staff are usually happy to distract them, and to reassure you that your child will have stopped sobbing by the time you've reached the end of the drive.
Many Pre-Schools encourage parents to phone later to check and will call you if your child does not settle within a reasonable time.
Toilet skills
Many nurseries insist that the children of 3 years and older are toilet rained – this doesn’t help those families where the child has to commence nursery before these skills are acquired. No nursery should expect a small child to be totally confident in these skills. Many children who have not yet attained such skills soon pick them up by watching the other children in their nursery, and skilled encouragement from nursery staff.
If your child already has these skills, do dress them in appropriate clothes (no buttons and zips). Even then, some children do only want to 'go' on their home toilet, so it's wise to leave a change of clothes just in case of accidents.
Can I help my child make friends?
Some children find it easy to make friends – they're naturally outgoing. Others will struggle in the playground and hang around the edges. Nursery staff are good at spotting this and will encourage group games. Once term has started, you can start to invite one of your child’s friends over. If your child is tired after Pre-School, you may want to wait a while. One friend round every couple of weeks is probably enough for both of you.
End of the Day – sharing the experience!
At the end of a nursery session , when you or another carer go to collect your child, ask your child’s Key Person to write down observations about your child that you can read. If you're worried your child isn't settling or have any other concerns, you should speak to your Nursery Manager of your child’s Key Person and try to find out the cause, as well as talking to your child.
Going home time
When you or your child's carer meets your child after Pre-School, do show interest and enthusiasm about your child’s day – even if you are totally worn out after a hard days work yourself!
Your child needs your attention and affection for a moment - at least until you can get home and put on a DVD! Encourage your child to talk about who they play with and what they do. You're probably more anxious than they are about how good their day has been and you don't want them to get concerned.
